just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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