You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
