Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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