My brain says no but my pants say off.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
