yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
MIDGETS
????
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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