i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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