one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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