Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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