a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
