And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
