i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
