You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
