I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
