We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
