Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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