You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
