i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
