Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I will pee on everything he values.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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