My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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