ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
