Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
