my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
