i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
