Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
