that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Randomize