I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
