is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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