do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
