no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
