I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?