i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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