You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
