just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
