idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
