walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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