I puked a lego.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
