2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Randomize
