I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize