There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
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