i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
