you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
