Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
