i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
