Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize