it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
What a dumb baby whore.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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