in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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