even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
