I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
