It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
