Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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