Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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