the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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