hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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