there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize