I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
