Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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