Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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