She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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