Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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