Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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