Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
The air taste purple.
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