I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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