No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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