He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
