Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
