It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
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She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
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We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Drake has all the answers
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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