I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
