whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
